Avarice Guild

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, but in time...
Jun 16, 2008 - 4:13 PM - by Foghorn Deadhorn
Well, I started this update right after we killed Kalecgos but I've been finding little time to get some RnR between work, WoW, and other things, and these updates take longer to write than you might think...so I decided I'd just put it off until after we killed Brutallus. Which took a mite longer than we thought. But wu-eh. To save time and get to the Brutallus part of the update, I'm just going to unload some quote on you now. Those are hard work too! So here's one when we were pulling Mother and she was chain-resisting DS/TC between silences. Homoerotic hilarity ensues! Time for a quick bit of wardrobe fun. I think it's time you all appreciate just how great Noxana looks without a robe on (hi AR), and how fantastic I look with that nuker hat from Illidan no one wants. We had a quick debate about which Spawn character this hat make you look more like. For some reason I remembered Malebolgia having a horn over the center, and shorter horns than Violator, but I think after some Google Image research the winner is clearly Violator: Speaking of things that look like things: One thousand gold to the first person who figures out where that shot is from. Except not really, because I am fucking broke. Back to Kalecgos, as much as I'm really quite disappointed by the fact that a demon-posessed dragon is basically just another dragon with crystals on his head and glowy red eyes, I'm far more irritated by the arena in which you have to fight him. Blizzard...I want to point something out to you. Way back in '93 there was a game called Doom. Now, I never used an original Doom map editor, and it's been a while since I've played it, so for the sake of argument I'll go ahead and fast forward to '94. They had different settings for walls. Some walls you couldn't see through but could run through. Some walls you could see through but couldn't run through. Is it so fucking hard, in 2008, to make a wall that you can't run through but can see through, AND your goddamned camera can swing through? IS IT? Do I need to bust out my fucking nefarion tank POV shots or nightbane POV shots or prince POV shots you fucking assholes? MAKE THIS WALL SETTING BEFORE I SET YOUR GODDAMNED FUCKING DESKS ON FIRE. While not bringing a much needed camera clipping feature, patch 2.4 did indeed bring things. New chat technologies! Some of which were vital to our defeat of Kalecgos, as seen in this example of my light hack of the Kalecgos Icons mod: New BG features?! New titles! Cold statues! New quests! New ways to look awesome: New ways to make warriors feel inadequate! Feral druid nerfs! Scary fireside story tellers! This new cinematic mode is actually pretty cool and way, way overdue: Of course, no such thing can be found in Sunwell Plateau, but it's a start, right? I start to wonder if WoW is going to turn on its head and start having "trickle up" from the casuals to the raiders. Anyhoo, back to Kalecgos. After some strategy adjustments: And having our kill delayed by a week thanks to having our monday completely fucked (huzzah massive, long server crash right after trash clear, leading to another epic trash clear!): I seem to recall having the same thing happen the kill week but we had the time to spare I guess. Some people celebrate kills with a "huzzah!" some celebrate by pulling the pud, and some people celebrate with update bait: I double-looted off of this kill. For some reason this made me laugh, and I just had to share it: Our raiders have cat-like reflexes. Pulling Archie in 5, 4, --- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Getting past denial is the first step towards recovery. It's officially closing in on raid time and I intended to get this update up before our Felmyst reps tonight (KILLING REPS! KILLLLLLLIINNNNNNNG), so I'm going to have to get to the point. Brutallus. Hard, yes? We had a plan. It was the best plan. A plan for the Gods. But it failed. After weeks of frustration, we turned to animal power to finish him off... Needless to say, we were victorious. Boo-fucking-ya. Felmyst is going to go down like a chump by August. Keep hitting F5! PS I double-looted off of this kill. QUOTE SHOEHORN TIME Sometimes I am a dick about random tells: We call this "carroting yourself." Thank my excellent crop job, it should read "so I can double fist teal." I'll fix it later =( OK BYE BYE SEE YOU NEXT MONTH!
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Everything where it belongs
Mar 10, 2008 - 2:33 PM - by Foghorn Deadhorn
Ultimately, with a bit of elbow grease, we got the requisite HoDs (no thanks to Hyjal dropping less than ten on each of the two full clears we did to try and bridge the heart gap), SR'd the fuck up, and, well, the result was boss seven of nine in a somewhat compromised condition: That's right, we cut ze beetches head off. We also cut her hands off, for stealing. Stealing our hearts. And our wallets while we were passed out. But what do you expect, big spender, this isn't a sweet charity she's running. All three people who got that have groaned, and the rest of you just want me to post the actual corpse and move on. We got our happy ending just in time. (PSST: SHE'S A MADAME. FRRLZ!) Moving on... Recently our private boards were trolled by an arguably somewhat nutty former member who still had access to a certain unnamed doofus's account. Days after figuring this out and discovering who the perp was, we had this character named "Donontoy" trying to get an invite as an alt. Was it the same person? We don't know. But it was highly amusing nonetheless. Valentine's day companion cube? You decide: Since it happened right before the Sharaz kill, I don't feel quite right not getting to this subject now. By my count that's 23 people. What are they being thanked for? For being embarrassed enough by their GM and MT being the kind of ridiculous slackass who, over six months after hitting 70, hasn't gotten an epic flier. Yes, that's right, these people raised 5200g for me on the nose so I could stop being the shame of the guild riding around on my +60% airspeed mount. Has this made a difference in my life since getting it? Well let me start with the riding experience. Before: After: Now, out of a sense of obligation towards these people, and in an effort to try and put the days of Ghetto Rider as far behind me as possible, I've been fairly diligent in working towards my Netherwing rep, which should be done by the end of the raid week. This has made me about 1000g richer, and of course, an Onyx Netherdrake is something like two FAGILLION times awesomer than a green wyvern. What can I say: thanks a lot. If I hadn't missed a couple of daily days I'd be able to show said Netherdrake in this update as part of my thanks but a simple "I hope you guys are saving for my epic frosty flier for WotLK" will have to suffice for now. Hee hee! Before I was handed the gold, Syq gave an impassioned speech about stuff I haven't done aside from farming up my epic, such as posting my pic. So... No dice still! What can I say, way back when Frau posted them, some of y'all should have saved to your hard drive pending the great hammer of censorship! I will post the picture of another fairly private officer, one who has been away from us for months now. In his absence, the retelling of his deeds have grown him to legend, though as we all know he was a walking legend of DPS as it was. He hardly needs an introduction, but he'll get one anyway. I hope he can forgive me for posting his pic on the front page, but it's really what he gets for trusting the member forums with it. I think it's obvious who I'm talking about by now: I normally have more quotes than I have segues or even places to randomly throw them in. Thankfully these fall into a category, which we shall title "Typing errors are funny and come in streaks:" Now with special subsections, "When failing fails:" "Dursi's keyboard is covered with sticky shit:" With its own sub-subsection, "Dursi tries to apply on alts:" There. That wasn't contrived quote shoe-horning at all. Next boss! This fight has been called "The superbowl of not standing in shit." That is absolutely one of the most brilliant one-liner descriptions of a fight I've ever heard. I will say that as a melee on the Paladin side this fight is fun as hell, probably the most entertaining in the entire tier, unless you're the kind of person who finds the most pleasure in Teron-like fights that are largely about running up stupid high rape DPS numbers. There's really nothing else to say about this. We made the council "disappear." On to the sight we've been waiting three goddamned tiers for. Enjoy the peektures: I'll spare you the assuredly overdone Hamlet references despite the fact that I love Hamlet. I could have photoshopped Laurence Olivier in there or something I guess. But that's not what you're here for. Ask not what these quotes have to do with anything, ask where else I would put them. There is something about dog-fucking quotes that I never truly tire of. This is our second heroic BM joke. I really hope it catches on. So, this fight doesn't really rank among my favorites. It's a well-designed fight and one you can learn fairly quickly if you come prepared. As the main tank though, the constant alternation between "just stay out of the way" and "don't fuck up even a little bit or the raid will probably wipe" is a little annoying. In that vein, I present to you Top Ten Reasons Dead Gets Sheared: 10) Throwing chap stick at the cat 9) Latency spike 8) Framerate trough 7) Can't walk and chew gum, or move and hit shield block, at the same time 6) Blowing shield block on soul drain 5) Dr. Dorian-like thoughtful moments, complete with head-cocking and inner narration, in the middle of the pull 4) Blowing shield block on flame crash 3) Blowing shield block because Illidan is scary 2) Bottoming out on rage vs. a boss who hits for 7k fully debuffed And the very #1 reason that Dead gets sheared: 1) Dead sucks at tanking Somehow. Somehow, despite all that. We managed to get the big emo kid down: Like a few guilds on our server, this marks the first time in the guild's history we have been done with content. This is a huge milestone for us that we've been working hard for. I'd wax philosophical about it, talk about all the ups and downs we've had, the major rebuilding phases we've gone through (one of which was due in part to my own absence from the game), but fuck it. You want to see something? The red dots represent people that I even knew prior to TBC. Two of those people weren't even in the guild when I retired, and only two of the remaining people are playing the same characters they mained in vanilla WoW. If, when I was being recruited to un-retire, I was shown the names on today's raiding roster and told "these are the people you're going to beat the game with" I'm not 100% sure I would have bothered to start playing again. I miss some of our fallen soldiers, and I sure as hell didn't want to re-assume the pain-in-the-ass job which is being the GM, or the job of raid leader, and at times I've questioned the decision I made to re-commit to the guild in a time of need. But in the end I'm very proud of what we've got, and I enjoy a lot of these "new" people we've picked up, their level of dedication, and ultimately the overall very different experience raiding in TBC has been for me vs. before I retired. Overall I just have to express my relief in getting to this point finally, and my happiness that despite some BS here and there, leading the guild has been relatively drama-free and the majority of our people have very much kept their eyes on the prize. A big congratulations go to all of you. I hope you enjoyed it at least as much as I did. I'm looking forward to knocking out Sunwell. In the meantime though, can we kill Archimonde again? I'd like that. Some random BS I didn't randomly drop elsewhere that I feel really needs to make it in here somewhere... This thing is awesome: We at Avarice are always thinking of the greater good: Needs no introduction... Right. Sunwell is next, whenever it hits the live realms, but I swear I'll find something to put up next time we kill Archimonde. I really hate that fight. A lot. PEACE OUT!
6 Replies \| 354 Views